(This was written before the vote on the “Health Care Freedom Act” which was defeated 49-51. Sen McCain, Sen Murkowski & Sen Collins all voted against the GOP grain and put their constituents over their Party. Thank you, Senators. I wrote this tonight waiting for the vote. It is not very well edited but is raw & true. I had to get it out so I could move on and start to write again.)
I feel politically dead. It seems as if we are up against an enemy that will stop at nothing to win. Unfortunately, the enemy is American. It is just not supposed to happen this way. I am not sure if I have been naïve all my 55+ years as an American or was content to not see things I didn’t want to see. I just don’t know. All I really know is I feel lost, broken and in the crosshairs of the entire political process.
Since November 2016 a lot of questions have darted through my mind. All of them, if answered, possibly showing me the underbelly of an America I am reluctant to want to see. The hate & anger that Trump stirred up regarding so many topics haunt me and most of the answers lead to the truth that makes me wrestle with the only truth that would explain the chaos. America has not really moved on from a dark time & place that I thought or believed I thought, was in our rearview mirror. If the answer to these questions is what I think, it means we are still the racist, hate-filled, prejudiced, sexist, prudish white male driven mindset society that is sure to doom the advancement of the American political process & is crippling any possibility that the majority of voter’s concerns to be addressed.
My God, haven’t we been through all this already? Haven’t we moved on to equality of the races, ethnic groups, religion, sexual preferences and women’s rights in this society? How many times are we going to have to have the same battles over & over & over again? When will the fight be the good one and we can say we did it for our children, and their children, and their children, etc.? If what I hear, read and discern from opinions floating around this country it appears that the Presidency of Barack Obama did the opposite of what I have assumed it did. I thought it showed we had evolved as a country and that we were moving forward. Now, some of what I am getting seems to imply this is the backlash from the disgruntled citizens of this country that felt a black man was not worthy nor should ever occupy the office of the President of the United States. Are you fucking kidding me?
President Obama is a brilliant man (no, I am not going to dissect his Administration, I am simply stating his superb qualifications to be a statesman and his awesome brain). Not to mention he was so passionate about his job as President. He loved American. He loved the political process of America. He loved the citizens and voters of America. He LOVED America. He was beyond qualified. But, because he was black this ugly minority of America viewed him as a bad politician, unworthy to occupy the Oval Office? I am ashamed of those that would be a part of such narrow-minded, racist rhetoric.
My “friends” who are Republicans *sigh* refer to me as stupid, or a libertard….they verbally attack my political affiliations as if I was the densest, uneducated and politically ignorant person to exist since the beginning of time. The Left is either supporting or are themselves, lazy, uneducated leeches of society that have a sense of entitlement if not for others, then for themselves. In my opinion, this supersedes all political affiliations. This attack on personally held political opinions shows that diversity & personal opinion are not valued, or at worst, are not allowed. To not have human compassion for others, to view those in need as burdens, to judge simply bc of color, religion, sexual preference or simply bc of sex is an insult to all that humans are supposed to be. Compassion and rational thought are what separate the humans from others that roam this earth and now it is viewed as a liability to the GOP.
The thoughts that such ignorance exist in MY America makes my heart literally ache & hurt as if it is truly breaking. I don’t remember my heart feeling this way in a long, long time. When it happened last it was because of an unrequited love which I knew I could never have and my heart broke because I knew it would never be possible. Is that the truth I have failed to see? Is my version of America an impossible goal that I have to say goodbye to, forever & always? Am I saying goodbye to a love that isn’t possible?
And tonight the GOP is trying to repeal Obamacare, again. The Republicans have named it the “Health Care Freedom Act.” This is an ironic name for a piece of legislation that will “act” upon taking away “health care” for 15 million people. I have no idea where the “Freedom” came from – I can only speculate the GOP inserted it in the name because they will be “free” of Obamacare.
So, I will wait and see how this plays out. Even if the Senate fails to pass this really bad piece of legislation it does not change the fact that when I look in the mirror now I have to wonder if I have been looking through rose colored glasses?